Learning to Listen
Postvention
Caring for the Caregiver
Now that you have gone to such great lengths to help your friend in a time of need, it is important to take care of yourself. Listening to a friend’s problems can take a lot out of you, and it is vital to remain emotionally healthy. There are several ways to keep yourself emotionally healthy.
Know the limits of one conversation
Sometimes you and your friend can solve a problem together. Other times a situation may have no solution. Don’t feel that you have to reach a solution at the end of each conversation. Just being a caring and concerned listener for your friend can be enough for the time being.
Know your limits as a support person
If a friend wants to talk and you cannot give your full attention at that time, be honest! Being a distracted listener will not help you or your friend. Make sure to set aside a time that is convenient for the two of you. Also, be aware that you cannot always provide all the help your friend needs. Use a referral to an agency if you think your friend’s situation warrants one. Don’t promise any more than you can give.
Talk about your reactions with someone
It may remind you of your own worries, or your friend’s problem may really move you. Perhaps it will trigger a past unhappy memory in your own life. When this happens, talk to another friend about your feelings. Or, call a confidential distress centre like T.A.L.K.
Suicide is often extremely traumatic for the friends and family members that remain – the survivors. In addition to the feelings of grief normally associated with a person’s death, there may also be guilt, anger, resentment, remorse, confusion and great distress over unresolved issues. The stigma surrounding suicide can make it extremely difficult for survivors to deal with their grief and can cause them to feel terribly isolated. Survivors often find that people relate differently to them after the suicide, and may be very reluctant to talk about what has happened for fear of condemnation. They often feel like a failure because someone they cared so much about has chosen to suicide, and may also be fearful of forming new relationships because of the intense pain they have experienced through the relationship with the person who has completed suicide
The most important thing to remember is that as an active listener, you can make a huge difference in someone’s life!
Learning to Listen | Active
Listening Skills
Depression | Suicide
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